Title: If I Was Your Girl
Author: Meredith Russo
Synopsis: Amanda Hardy is the new girl in school. Like anyone else, all she wants is to make friends and fit in. But Amanda is keeping a secret. She’s determined not to get too close to anyone.
But when she meets sweet, easygoing Grant, Amanda can’t help but start to let him in. As they spend more time together, she realizes just how much she is losing by guarding her heart. She finds herself yearning to share with Grant everything about herself–including her past. But Amanda’s terrified that once she tells him the truth, he won’t be able to see past it. Because the secret that Amanda’s been keeping? It’s that she used to be Andrew. Will the truth cost Amanda her new life–and her new love?
Huge thank you to Macmillan/Raincoast for this ARC!
If I Was Your Girl has the potential to be a must read novel that looks at trans-issues written by a trans woman. There’s a lot in this novel that gives so much insight into trans issues, and I felt it to be a very eye-opening reading experience, even though I’ve read plenty of YA novels that focus on being trans. This one, however, I think provides an authenticity that really does make it stand a part.
My favourite aspects of this novel were the flashbacks during Amanda’s time as Andrew, and her growing into her transition. These were the parts of the novel that I felt to ring the most true in terms of understanding what it means to transition and the desire for people to accept transition as well. This felt so heartbreaking and truthful, and watching Amanda deal with her family at the beginning of the journey just hurt so much. When it moves into current time and we see more of how the parents accept Amanda, it brings a lot to the story, providing the before and after than I think many trans novels sometimes lack.
There was one glaring issue with this book though: I didn’t entirely buy how accepting everyone was of Amanda. It just didn’t feel realistic at all, and if anything part of me struggled with how easy a lot of her friendships felt. Everyone barely knows her and yet they confide all their deepest secrets to her. It just seemed very strange at times and it actually took me out of the story on several occasions. However, I will say that it does do a great job of showing positive friendships, which still seems so unheard of in YA.
I will say, however, that everything with Grant felt quite realistic. I wasn’t really into the smoopiness of the romance at first, but it did work and grow on me and I understood why the author portrayed the relationship as she did. There’s a very nice sense of building in the relationship and the issues that Amanda and Grant face do feel like realistic and challenging. I loved the way in which Grant handles Amanda being trans and how scared he was at first but grows into a mature way of understanding. It’s really something special how a lot of their relationship is portrayed and it did win me over in the end.
If I Was Your Girl is so smart in its depiction, and brave in its execution. I loved Amanda and reading her journey was such an inspiring and engaging experience. There’s definitely nothing out there quite like this book, and if you are interested in trans issues, particularly in YA, then this is a must-read for sure.
Huge thank you to Flatiron Books for sending me a copy for review!
I first heard about this book last fall and was very curious about it. I kept missing out on chances to grab a copy or borrow it and I was THRILLED when a copy finally showed up at my house. I was in the middle of THE RAVEN KING and knew that this book would be a balm on my soul for when THAT was over. And I read this in a little less than 48 hours. It is engaging and eye opening and I couldn’t put it down.
The me from before 2007 would probably never have touched this book. The me from pre-2007 was a conservative Republican-by-default living in backwoods Michigan with a vague notion that God and Christianity might be an okay thing and that there were a lot of Wrong things going on in the world. I would publicly support things like Bush and anti-Queer rhetoric. Then I moved to Tokyo and got away from the bible thumpers and closed minded white people and saw a whole new world. My mind opened, my heart changed, and I started to read way more than Vampire YA books. And I grew and my mind expanded and I met people from different walks of life and I am no longer that girl from 2007.
I hope this book will do for some people what leaving my secluded, closed minded town did for me. I hope that people who are cisgendered will read this book or books like it and understand that we’re all people, we all struggle with feelings that we don’t understand, with feelings that other people don’t accept, and we all just want to be loved. I hope that other transpeople (teens and adults alike) can connect with this story and find themselves in this. I LOVE that this book was written by someone with the experiences being written about in this book. I believe that for true DIVERSE books to be out there that they need to be written by people who have EXPERIENCED the things they are writing about. Research can only go so far.
Story and writing wise I think that Russo has a nice voice for YA and that her writing will grow with time. There were a few places in this book that I would have liked to have seen more fleshed out, and there were times when the pace was a little off for me. Amanda was a relateable character because she’s felt things that we’ve all felt growing up and even as adults. Her struggles feel real and her voice was clear. I enjoyed the side characters, but they all felt a little flat and I would have liked to have had more depth in them. The parents were wonderful in the fact that they were both there and not there for Amanda. They had their own struggles with her choices, but in the end they were good, honest people who just did their best.
This is an important book and I hope that lots of people will read it and enjoy it or learn from it or have their minds changed and their minds challenged. I can’t wait to see what more Russo will come up with.